Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Gordon's Breakfast - 37

I'd like to tell you something about Sunday, but apart from that it's the day after Saturday and that it followed Susan's wedding, and our genius wedding intervention, I really can't help you out other than to say Larissa Snowe and I had a rather brilliant post wedding intervention lunch and end of summer cocktail session, which sadly confined me to the couch for most of the day drinking Darjeeling tea and watching black and white movies.

Larissa Snowe although groggy did manage to dedicate herself yesterday to a little more Barcelona packing, but she who is usually industrious under any circumstances agreed after a while that spending the rest of the day lying on the couch and not moving was really quite the best kind of activity that anyone could dream up.

I'm still lying on the couch on Larissa Snowe's couch today reading Nabakov, but mostly watching Larissa Snowe scurry around the her house like manic packing girl. I swear that girl loves to pack. Even though she has booked herself a sensible night flight and has hours to go, and all her bags are arranged like statues in a row, she keeps going. Larissa Snowe tells me that she knows exactly what her luggage allowance is and she intends to use it all. By this later afternoon stage she has checked off all her checklists and is really just engaged in a mopping up operation that has her combing her house looking for stragglers in the form of any items that she might have overlooked.

"Are you actually looking for anything in particularly?" I ask her.

Larissa Snowe puts her hand to her chin and surveys the room.

"I'm just looking at things that jump out and scream 'take me take me'."
"And how many calls have you had so far?"
"None, I thought more would call out, what do you think is behind the lack of calling?"
"You know why that is don't you? You've packed everything, your flat is almost bare, now Lissa please stop and sit down."
"The thing is I know that they are out there, just out of reach."
"Whoa? Yeah, whoa, you know what's happening don't you? You're turning into crazy packing girl."
"I thought you said I was a little eccentric?"
"I did, but like any good airline I've upgraded you it seemed necessary."

My phone rings as Larissa Snowe continues to look and as I pick it up and look at the blue lit up screen I see its Alison. I show the screen to Larissa Snowe who tells me to get as many details as possible about the fate of the wedding post our performance.

"Hey," I go.
"Hey back to you," says Alison, "I can't believe you kept that quiet, that is so unlike you, you never usually keep anything quiet."
"I know," I say, "I feel like I'm growing, my ability to keep big nuclear sized secrets is a sure sign."
"You're right about the sure sign," she says.
"So how did we go down?"
"Well I think most people were unaware that comedy routines are part of the ceremony. I think you were a big hit, if not in all the right places. Adam was burning."
"Ha! I can't say I feel bad about that."
"I have to say I was very impressed. I couldn't believe you would ever attempt anything so…"
"Bold yes, but…"
"But, you know I could really do without the but," I say.
"Sorry about that. I was going to say suicidal."
"Oh, I suppose, you're right, it was a bit last stand, but last stands are underrated there's the glory, the honour. People love that stuff."
"The death? I seem to remember that death is a part of last stands as well."
"Yeah, there is the death, but I'm trying not to think about that so much right now."
"Did you ever consider doing anything before the wedding?"
"You know we did, but in the end grand romantic gesture won out."
"Grand romantic gesture? Is that what they're calling it?"
"Well it's what I hear."
"It's a shame."
"So it goes."
"And it goes both ways," says Alison.
"Yeah, touché, so come on tell me."
"I suppose you want to know if it still happened?"
"Can I lie and say no?"
"Of course you can. Lying in your situation is perfectly acceptable."
"But I'm sure soon enough you're bound to bump into Mr and Mrs Adam Wright."
"Shocking, I feel like I just tripped into some alternate universe where only the madly impossible is possible. Is she keeping her name?"
"You know, I don't think she is. I don't think Susan is half as unconventional as people might think at times."
"True. Do you think I can make it out of this alternate universe?"
"I don't think so, you're travel permit has been revoked, for unspecified crimes. You'll just have to live in a world where there is a Susan Wright."
"That sucks, tell me it was a beautiful moment, you know after Lissa and I beat a retreat."
"It was a beautiful moment."
"Seriously, was it?"

There's a pause on the other end of the line as Alison goes mmm as she thinks it over.

"If you had asked me last year I would have told you that all wedding are beautiful moments in their own special way. Now…I don't know. I think Susan looked stunning in her dress and there was a moment when I first saw her walk by that made the day for me."
"That's a rather wonderful thing to say, Susan would love that."
"I know she would, but it happens to be true."
"I swear she's wasted."
"You swear a lot of things."
"True. How long do you think it will last?"
"Mmm, not sure, but I wouldn't get your hopes up?"
"Hey, you mean hopes go up as well as down? I never knew that, damn."

Alison indulges me and laughs.

"Are you taking Lissa to the Airport?"

This is a big question and the answer is no. I wanted to, but Larissa Snowe won't let me. She's worried that we'll have airport history. You know the joke when your girlfriend, or in my case non/ex-girlfriend, says to you 'how come you never take me to the airport anymore?'. I love that movie. And don't talk to me about the dark side.

"No she's worried we'll have airport history."
"It's a good point, no one need unnecessary airport history."
"I guess. What time do you want me over?"
"Oh my mother is coming round at seven, so after that?"
"You know my mother is looking forward to seeing you again."
"Ali, that worries me, you know?"
"I know it worries me too."
"You don't think she thinks, you know?"
"I think she might."
"I have got to put her straight, this could get out of hand."
"Are you sure about that? Last time you tried you ended up as the man in charge."
"Good point, maybe I should say nothing."
"I really think that's best," Alison says.

And with that we both hang up and I sit there for a moment or two and find myself saying "ugh" out loud. and then thinking, thinking…well really not sure what I'm thinking.

"What's wrong?" asks Larissa.

I shake my head.

"Oh nothing," I say.

And to myself, "it was just something that Alison said".


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