The Demographic Shift - 63
I took a small road trip to outside Sheffield and back with my friend David on Tuesday. As we swept along the M1 he was updating me on his recent exploits at the V-Festival (his festival highlights? Oasis and the Kaiser Chiefs), which seemed to involve collecting too many phone numbers for one man to deal with.
"Explain that bit again? How you got all those phone numbers?"
"Gordon, I spoke to them."
"Right! I'll remember that."
Anyway, David was also telling me about his friend MJ. Apparently, she's super cute (is that a phrase?), he has a bit of a thing for her and she has asked him to drop by later in the week.
Sounds cool, right? Well it would be apart from the fact that MJ swings both ways. That's right folks, left and right, and currently she’s swinging the girl kind of way.
I wasn't even going to go anywhere near this subject again, but after last week's post I got an email from an angry anonymous lesbian. Who would have guessed, lesbians are angry? I know, what’s that about? Boy, I'm really asking for it now.
This is what the angry anonymous lesbian (AAL) emailed me:
"As a lesbian myself, I find your blog both insulting and ignorant. Why write on subjects of which you know nothing about purely so you can have something to say? Less is more applies to verbosity..."
Harsh, right? Especially with all the dot dot dotting. I never said that I knew anything about lesbians. Honest. Other than the fact that I once went on a date with one and had an email from another one, which has earned the ire of AAL who decided to vent her spleen.
I digress, I was telling David about AAL when he started telling me about MJ. MJ currently has a girlfriend. A girlfriend who is a bit butch.
"When I first met her, she had a boyfriend, but dropped him for this kind of tough looking lesbian, who she’s still with, what’s with that?"
Me? I have absolutely no idea, she (women in general) move in mysterious ways. The thing is that MJ's girlfriend gets very pissed when you mentioned the ex-boyfriend. Kind of like AAL with me for talking about lesbians dating men.
"You know why the butch girlfriend gets pissed off don't you?" David says.
"I have my theory," I tell him, "Could it be anything to do with the fact that she's worried that her lipstick lesbian girlfriend might one day wonder across the gender divide and start dating men again?"
"Exactly, and you would be pissed off too, if you happened to be her current girlfriend."
Of course I would, but I wouldn’t take it out on some random blogger. You see AAL it's not my fault that some lesbians/lipstick lesbians, you know, swing both ways and want to date men. IT'S A FREE WORLD. You know, kind of, more or less, military industrial complex aside, but I don’t think I have time to deal with that one this week. Stay tuned though, I'll get to it in the end.
Ask me if I think that happens much, then despite it being a recurring male fantasy I’d say probably not. In fact, I’m with Kevin Smith ('Clerks', 'Mall Rats', 'Chasing Amy' et cet) on this. He was asked one time at an event why he had never made a science fiction movie. Good question. He replied he had. Pause for the punch line.
He joked his science fiction flick was in fact 'Chasing Amy' where Ben Affleck pursues, wins and loses a cute lesbian (who has an equally cute girlfriend at the time).
"A science fiction movie? I don't know. I think I have made one already... Chasing Amy. Because you go ask any lesbian, that'll never happen. Even if, and probably especially because, the dude is Ben fucking Affleck."
In the movie the sisters are mighty pissed to have lost a member of the sisterhood to the dark side, even if it is only temporarily.
I like that movie. I like it a lot. Seriously, I really do. What can I say? I have always been a big fan of science fiction.